Better Than Your Best

Please feel free to use these prayers for your own use in whatever context you feel they are appropriate. 

Invocation

Lord,

Help us to remain true to the self-evident truths so long ago proclaimed but existing from the beginning of time, that we are all created equal, and that we are endowed by You as our common Creator with certain unalienable Rights.

Imbue us with a renewed enthusiasm and respect for these, our mutual rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Cause us to know without doubt that from these rights issue forth genuine responsibilities to work for the common good so that all can truly experience the true fullness of freedom.

We pray the presence of Your Power to be within and among us this evening as we seek to manifest these truths within our individual hearts and within the soul of our nation.

We seek Your guidance as we again pledge our allegiance to the timeless proclamation of individual liberty and our uncompromising independence from any tyranny, foreign or domestic, that would seek to deprive us of any of it.

Steady us in these turbulent times, Lord, so that we will never waiver from our reliance on our faith in Your unyielding love for each of us.

Benediction

We now depart in Your love and with Your peace. But we are no longer the people who earlier gathered; we are now the people who leave to live with renewed passion, filled with infinite power and divine wisdom to be co-creators with You to make all things new.

We leave with deeper commitment to embody the words of the one in whose honor we have gathered this evening:

“With malice toward none; with charity for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in . . .”

By Ken Wallace

Here are seven simple steps you can take to get done what needs to be done – NOW!

1. Organize: Order your time, records and interruptions so that you know what to expect – and from whom.

2. Get it All Together: Gather all necessary information and tools, such as calendar, telephone numbers and to-do lists, in one place. Never put these materials in any other place – ever!

3. Plan: End each day organizing the next day’s appointments and must-do tasks. Nice-to-do tasks should be written at the bottom of your “must-do” list. Do these in the order you’ve written them only after all your “must-dos” have been completed.

4. Prioritize: Set goals and map a strategy to achieve them. List every step to accomplish each goal and then put them in order of importance. Refuse to do the easiest – and the least important – jobs first. In fact, make it a habit to do these at the end of each day.

5. Decide: Do it, delegate it or discard it. For each of your projects, decide how it will be handled and by whom. Write the steps, the timelines, the deadlines and the names of those who will be assigned each task on a planning capture sheet. Do the step at the top of the list (or have it done) immediately.

6. Clear Your Desk: Workspaces littered with notes, files, phone messages, mail, etc. are enticements to procrastinate. You might be able to manage the clutter for a brief period of time; don’t count on it for the long-term, however. Clutter will eventually consume your intentions, cloud your perspective, dampen your enthusiasm and overwhelm even your best-laid plans.

7. Divide and Conquer: When overwhelmed by the enormity of a project, break it down into smaller tasks to get a more reasonable perspective. Deal with only one task at a time. When tempted to wander in your thinking, say to yourself, “Not now!” Then continue your train of thought and action until you can say, “OK, Now!”

Go for it . . . NOW!

Ken

Do you have a clear-cut idea of what you expect to be done?

Have you planned what to say before giving the instructions?

Have you taken into account the individual’s preferred communication style and tailored your delivery?

Have you checked your vocabulary for words and phrases the individual may not understand (and eliminated or changed them)?

Do you wait until you and the individual have adequate time and attention to give to the instructions?

Have you planned what to do if the individual is uncooperative?

Do you explain the big picture so the individual understands the “why” as well as the “what”?

Do you ask the individual to repeat the instructions as he or she understands them?

Do you discuss what decisions the individual can make on his or her own and when he or she needs to check with you?

Before you end a meeting, are you sure the individual knows exactly what he/she is to do, how he/she is to do it, and when?

Have you set up interim status reports if appropriate?

Do you give the individual feedback (positive and negative) after completing the project?

Do you assess your instructions and change them in the future if misunderstandings arise?

After hours of frustration trying to get my drain unclogged, I finally broke down and called a plumber. Upon arriving, he asked where the problem pipe was located. I took him to the bathroom and, pointing to the open doors under the sink, I said, "There's your challenge, right there."

He spent a few moments surveying the situation and then took from his toolbox a simple pair of pliers and gently tapped the entire length of the curvy piping. After just a few minutes of inspection, he wrapped his pliers with a bright red bandana he took from one of the many pockets in his tattered blue overalls. With precise aim, he drew back and struck the pipe about halfway between the bottom of the basin and the point where the piping disappeared into the wall. 

It worked! The water flowed freely and all was right with the world. The entire visit lasted a mere five minutes. The plumber wrote on the invoice the following words: "House call . . . FREE; Knowing What to Do (Where to Hit the Pipe) . . . $75.00.

But knowing what and where is not enough. The noted comedian, George Burns, was said to have interrupted a person who was not quite finished asking, "What is the key to comedy?" with his answer: "Timing!" In addition to what and where, you must also know when.

There is such a thing as "putting the cart before the horse:" you wind up having to pull a load you wouldn't have had to were you to have done things in the proper sequence and at the right time. You cannot hope to reap without having sown or to acquire wisdom and solid character without making the daily choices to discipline your baser instincts.

Wisdom comes from understanding what you should be doing with your time. . . right now wherever you are. Getting to the place where your knowledge, skills and experience position you to "move the needle" and succeed faster is the essence of living in peaceful abundance. When you know you know you can make things happen, you become equipped with the power you need to achieve what you want. Furthermore, what you want becomes shaped by what you know you can accomplish rather than merely hoping for something you doubt that you can achieve.

This, indeed, is a peaceful – and powerful – life that emerges from finding your better Self.

The following are comments in response to a standing question I've posed to all readers and participants: "What has been the greatest obstacle you have had to overcome on the way to Your Better Self?"

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If all you are looking at is the obstacles in front of you, then you need to widen your perspective. Zoom out! Look at the bigger picture. Stepping back from the rock lets you see the way around it. I'm lazy, really I am. I am not going to hammer through with a jackhammer when I can step back and go around.

I will admit, though, that I've found that my biggest obstacle is often myself. When working in a group I find this a lot, especially when I'm the leader. I get this, "My way or the highway" sort of attitude occasionally, and I forget that the reason I've surrounded myself with the people I have is because they are the best ones to help me get the job done. It pays to listen to the people around you. I've learned that the hard way many times, and I find myself re-learning it. Here are some things I've written down to remember while working in a group (I've found that they are helpful for working in a group whether I'm the leader or not.):

1.) Listen when someone is trying to express their opinion on how best to get the job done. They may not have the best answer, but all viewpoints let you back up and get a bigger picture.

2.) Plan, then be prepared for the plan to fail. Trust your team members to do what they do best as you all pick up the pieces and start anew.

3.) People won't follow a plan/path they haven't agreed upon. Make sure that everyone agrees, or if they can't, that they agree to follow the leader.

4.) This is a team effort, and working as a team is the only way to get the job done. Everyone's skills, no matter how small in comparison to others in the group, should be recognized.

5.) Don't overextend yourself, if your work suffers the whole team suffers. Your failure can cause the whole team to fail.

6.) Don't be afraid to ask for help. It doesn't make you seem weak.

7.) If you must criticize, make sure it's constructive. Criticizing someone viciously is not the way to motivate them. It's entirely unhelpful.

8.)

Did you notice number eight is blank? Well that is because I just know I'm going to learn more later. Recognizing that fact now will, hopefully, allow me to be more open to learning the next thing to come my way.

- Christine Knight

Whenever I hear this phrase uttered, I think not of radical railing against the "establishment" but of what people with power actually look like. People with power are people with poise, purpose and peacefulness. When you possess power, you know it; and you also know how to use it, for that is the prerequisite of power – being the one in the room who knows what to do . . . next.

Power originates in perception and manifests itself within the individual. In other words, when you know what needs to be done for the benefit of others and are committed to getting it done, you are perceived to be powerful by others and are then able to empower them to help you accomplish that goal.

We all need power to get what we want for ourselves. We also need power to give what we want to others. Power is experienced when you know what you want to both give and receive and when you know that what you want is worthy of your better Self.

"Power to the people" is really power through a person to the people. Are you that person in your world? 

My wife and I have been married almost seventeen years. It seems a much shorter amount of time. It’s been a good time even though times haven’t always been good.

We wrote our own vows, as many do. Even if you used the traditional vows from your religious organization, I’ll bet it has been quite some time since you have re-read them, even if you’ve only been married a short while.

Vows are considered sacred and solemn because they are promises made to another to be a certain kind of person who strives to serve the other in ways that help him/her become his/her better Self. As such, they are freely chosen boundaries within which we pledge to direct our personal growth in tandem with the other.

We live within boundaries. Other-imposed boundaries, like the laws of the land, are often non-negotiable and are established ostensibly to provide for the common good and welfare of all inhabitants. Other “other-imposed” boundaries include, depending on your spiritual perspective, the universal moral law of humanity given by the deity. This, too, can be considered non-negotiable, albeit debatable as to its true meaning and impact on human behavior.

The laws of nature, of course, are non-negotiable with absolute certainty because we have no choice regarding whether or not we abide by them. We cannot choose to exclude ourselves from the law of gravity, or chemistry or the time-space relationship that constitutes the backdrop of any personally-perceived reality.

But the height of freedom, maturity and successful living is to choose your own personal boundaries within which you will direct your thinking and behavior. This is a requirement of human life, whether consciously exercised or not. You may choose wisely or witlessly.

However, choices need to be made. If not done intentionally and with careful and honest deliberation, the necessary realm of self-imposed boundaries will be filled with boundaries imposed by others. More often than not, these boundaries are merely manifestations of their own desires in their relationship with you. Trying to live within the confines of others’ selfish expectations means that you will live as if you were someone other than yourself. This is not your better Self. It is, rather, a “second self” that experiences life more as a spectator than as an actor.

Outside those that are non-negotiable, you must choose those boundaries that define and declare your character or they will be chosen for you. You have the power to channel your energy and focus your personal resources in ways that will manifest your worthy aspirations. If you don’t choose your own boundaries, you will never realize what you most ardently desire.

The vows that my wife and I exchanged are unique in the words we chose to use; but, like your own vows, I believe they express the universal intention to be bounded in certain ways that would build each other up and bring out each other’s better Selves as we journey together through life.

I came across our vows recently as I was cleaning out a “storage” room in our house. As I read them again, I measured my seventeen year performance against those words of promise made long ago. How have I done at living up to them? Have I remained true to both the letter and the spirit of their expression? Has the reality of our lives together fleshed out the intention of the language?

I must say that we have done pretty well. However, by reviewing our vows I have silently, yet firmly renewed them in my conscious efforts to make them even more real and meaningful in our on-going relationship. The distance between promise and reality is as close as the beneficial boundaries you set for yourself that help you choose daily to live by the promises you make.

Here’s our vows. I hope when you revisit yours you will find that you have chosen well both the words and the boundaries that provide the means to make them a living reality within your marriage.

I, Ken/Mary, take you, Mary/Ken, to be my wife/husband
To love with the power of life God has given me.
This day I give you all that I am and all that I will be.
I will help you become what you feel God wants you to be.
I will encourage you to grow and to learn in all you do.
I will be patient and gentile;
I will be honest and trusting;
I will seek to understand you;
I will listen to you because I believe I can learn from you.
No longer will we face life separately, but together.
In our marriage, I will strive to grow in my love for you.
In the name of Jesus.
God is my witness.

In my recent book, “Your Better Self: A Simple Guide to Where You Want to Be,”I cite Benjamin Franklin’s 13 Virtues as being an excellent beginning for your journey toward manifesting your worthy aspirations and becoming your better Self. I’d like to share now Ben’s friend, Thomas Jefferson’s, 10 Rules that helped guide him to the astounding achievements credited to him.

Let me know if you think there is value to how he lived his life. Do you think you can benefit from organizing your life around the following?

1. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend money before you have earned it.
4. Never buy what you don’t want because it is cheap.
5. Pride costs more than hunger, thirst and cold.
6. We seldom repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. How must pain the evils cost us that never happened.
9. Take things always by the smooth handle.
10. When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, count a hundred.

Each week, especially Mondays, brings with it a slew of emotions accumulated from all the weeks and Mondays in the past.

Mondays are usually greeted, if not with a sense of downright dread, then with a less than enthusiastic attitude and a low-grade anxiety. It’s like going through a briar patch – as you travel through it, more and more burrs from the branches stick to your clothing. As you accumulate more “attachments” (physical, mental and emotional) as you go through life, the spiritual speed with which you travel decreases and the goals you set for yourself begin to loom loftier and soon appear to be bigger than your ability – and now your desire – to achieve them.

Monday is your cue to start fresh by casting off your psychological anchors that are weighing you down and holding you back from achieving your worthy aspirations. Every Monday, begin the week with these words: “If it is to be it is up to me.” Sound familiar? Hackneyed? Stale? Only if you’ve never tried it.

One Christmas, when my son was seven years old, he received a gift that I thought he would love – a harmonica. The moment he opened the present revealing the harmonica he looked up to see me pointing a camera at him. He smiled as big as he could while proudly holding the box in one hand and gently touching the harmonica with the other. He looked completely happy to get the harmonica.

Immediately after the photograph was taken, however, he threw one of the biggest tantrums I have ever seen him throw. He screamed, tossed the harmonica to the floor, ran through all the rooms of the house crying that we really didn’t love him.

Perplexed, I asked, “What’s the matter? You looked so happy to get the harmonica. Why did you smile so big when you opened it up? He said, “Because I didn’t want to ruin the picture!”

We paint the picture we have of ourselves in the actions and attitudes we exhibit. This is another way of saying that what’s on the inside eventually finds its expression on the outside.

What self-portrait are you painting today with your actions and attitudes? Is it your better Self – or something less?