Better Than Your Best

Do you have a clear-cut idea of what you expect to be done?

Have you planned what to say before giving the instructions?

Have you taken into account the individual’s preferred communication style and tailored your delivery?

Have you checked your vocabulary for words and phrases the individual may not understand (and eliminated or changed them)?

Do you wait until you and the individual have adequate time and attention to give to the instructions?

Have you planned what to do if the individual is uncooperative?

Do you explain the big picture so the individual understands the “why” as well as the “what”?

Do you ask the individual to repeat the instructions as he or she understands them?

Do you discuss what decisions the individual can make on his or her own and when he or she needs to check with you?

Before you end a meeting, are you sure the individual knows exactly what he/she is to do, how he/she is to do it, and when?

Have you set up interim status reports if appropriate?

Do you give the individual feedback (positive and negative) after completing the project?

Do you assess your instructions and change them in the future if misunderstandings arise?

After hours of frustration trying to get my drain unclogged, I finally broke down and called a plumber. Upon arriving, he asked where the problem pipe was located. I took him to the bathroom and, pointing to the open doors under the sink, I said, "There's your challenge, right there."

He spent a few moments surveying the situation and then took from his toolbox a simple pair of pliers and gently tapped the entire length of the curvy piping. After just a few minutes of inspection, he wrapped his pliers with a bright red bandana he took from one of the many pockets in his tattered blue overalls. With precise aim, he drew back and struck the pipe about halfway between the bottom of the basin and the point where the piping disappeared into the wall. 

It worked! The water flowed freely and all was right with the world. The entire visit lasted a mere five minutes. The plumber wrote on the invoice the following words: "House call . . . FREE; Knowing What to Do (Where to Hit the Pipe) . . . $75.00.

But knowing what and where is not enough. The noted comedian, George Burns, was said to have interrupted a person who was not quite finished asking, "What is the key to comedy?" with his answer: "Timing!" In addition to what and where, you must also know when.

There is such a thing as "putting the cart before the horse:" you wind up having to pull a load you wouldn't have had to were you to have done things in the proper sequence and at the right time. You cannot hope to reap without having sown or to acquire wisdom and solid character without making the daily choices to discipline your baser instincts.

Wisdom comes from understanding what you should be doing with your time. . . right now wherever you are. Getting to the place where your knowledge, skills and experience position you to "move the needle" and succeed faster is the essence of living in peaceful abundance. When you know you know you can make things happen, you become equipped with the power you need to achieve what you want. Furthermore, what you want becomes shaped by what you know you can accomplish rather than merely hoping for something you doubt that you can achieve.

This, indeed, is a peaceful – and powerful – life that emerges from finding your better Self.

The following are comments in response to a standing question I've posed to all readers and participants: "What has been the greatest obstacle you have had to overcome on the way to Your Better Self?"

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If all you are looking at is the obstacles in front of you, then you need to widen your perspective. Zoom out! Look at the bigger picture. Stepping back from the rock lets you see the way around it. I'm lazy, really I am. I am not going to hammer through with a jackhammer when I can step back and go around.

I will admit, though, that I've found that my biggest obstacle is often myself. When working in a group I find this a lot, especially when I'm the leader. I get this, "My way or the highway" sort of attitude occasionally, and I forget that the reason I've surrounded myself with the people I have is because they are the best ones to help me get the job done. It pays to listen to the people around you. I've learned that the hard way many times, and I find myself re-learning it. Here are some things I've written down to remember while working in a group (I've found that they are helpful for working in a group whether I'm the leader or not.):

1.) Listen when someone is trying to express their opinion on how best to get the job done. They may not have the best answer, but all viewpoints let you back up and get a bigger picture.

2.) Plan, then be prepared for the plan to fail. Trust your team members to do what they do best as you all pick up the pieces and start anew.

3.) People won't follow a plan/path they haven't agreed upon. Make sure that everyone agrees, or if they can't, that they agree to follow the leader.

4.) This is a team effort, and working as a team is the only way to get the job done. Everyone's skills, no matter how small in comparison to others in the group, should be recognized.

5.) Don't overextend yourself, if your work suffers the whole team suffers. Your failure can cause the whole team to fail.

6.) Don't be afraid to ask for help. It doesn't make you seem weak.

7.) If you must criticize, make sure it's constructive. Criticizing someone viciously is not the way to motivate them. It's entirely unhelpful.

8.)

Did you notice number eight is blank? Well that is because I just know I'm going to learn more later. Recognizing that fact now will, hopefully, allow me to be more open to learning the next thing to come my way.

- Christine Knight